For over a decade Donald Miller has been exploring his inner thoughts about the complexities of faith in a culture seeking to package our spiritual journey into something neat and tidy. His latest book Scary Close: Dropping the Act and Finding True Intimacy
If the only way I knew Miller was through his books, well, honestly … he’d come across as wildly self-absorbed. But the separation between us is only 2 degrees and I highly respect the people who call him a close friend. I’ve come to see how Miller is at his best when he models transparency, shares his vulnerability, and processes the complexities of his heart out loud. Few authors possess the courage to do this as well as Miller.
Of course sometimes it all comes across as a Gen-X post-Christian therapy session. The issues Miller struggles with in this book have never been a problem for me, so it’s easy to roll my eyes at his angst. I’m not bragging (trust me, just ask D’Aun and you’ll get a laundry list of things I need to work on), but the specific issues Miller struggles with are not the issues I struggle with.
So, as I said, the book isn’t really written for me. And I was ready to write a flaming review of it because it all seems so … I dunno, so Oprah-like.
Then I remembered a few people I know who are struggling with the issues Miller writes about. It struck me how they would appreciate his candor and vulnerability. Thinking of them made me appreciate the book in a new way. Not as something that served me in some way, but as a valuable resource for others struggling with the same issues covered in the book.
In other words, it’s not all about me. The thing I would criticize Miller’s books for (being self-absorbed) was actually how I was behaving in my first impression of Scary Close. Ouch.
So if you are struggling with relationships, or know somebody who is, the book is well worth reading. Thanks, Don, for the courage it took to share what you did. And accept my apologies for rolling my eyes while reading it. You deserve better than my petty attitude.
