My friend Dave Gibbons recommended Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High and I’ve seldom been steered wrong by Dave. Actually, never.

So I got a copy and dug into it. What a well done book! Four insightful authors have come together to share their professional insights into what they call “crucial conversations”. These are the conversations that we cannot avoid, must have, and are high stakes. You know, those conversations like “are you having an affair?” Not the normal everyday conversations (though the book can help with those too), but the really tough and important ones.

I consider myself a pretty good communicator. I try to create a safe context when I’m going to have a tough conversation. But the authors of the book shared such great insights that I’m rethinking a lot of how I go about it. They give solid, step by step approaches that anybody can implement.

There were several times I wanted to highlight the book with a note, “See, I told you so! You don’t do that!” and then hand it to colleague or family member. But just as often I found myself having to highlight a section with a note to myself, “Remember to do this!”

If you find it hard to have crucial conversations, then get this book. If you do any counseling, get this book. If you are married or have kids, get this book. You’ll be glad you did.