Some authors are humorous, clever, and sarcastic in a way that makes them endearing. Others let those traits become irritating as hell. The books I’ve read in the past by Sarah Vowell tended toward the former even though they flirted with the later. But Unfamiliar Fishes is pure irritation. Don’t read this book.

It’s a shame that I have to say that. The subject matter, for me, is fascinating. It traces the New England missionaries arrival in Hawaii, the conversion of the Hawaiian people to Christianity, the illegal overthrow of the Hawaiian Queen, the push toward Statehood, and the subsequent fallout of all that. I know enough about all of this to be … well, not an expert, but at least fluent.

But Vowell is just too cynical. Imagine me saying that?!? Yeah, so you understand how bad it can get.

There’s really nobody in this book that Vowell paints in a positive picture. She uses a modern bias to dismiss any missionary as too zealous, any American politician as too imperialistic, and any Hawaiian leader as too bloodthirsty (except for the Queen … Vowell clearly has a preference for female leadership … and she’s probably right about that considering the Hawaiian history).

One would think I’d enjoy the humor (how can you not laugh at the way Vowell describes the whalers firing cannon on the missionaries because they want their “god given right to whores”). But Vowell manages to skewer everybody involved without really developing them as whole human beings. She jumps onto the stereotypes and stays there.

The tragic story of Hawaiian independence needs to be told well. I have friends in the Hawaiian Sovereignty Movement (ask me about my friend Bumpy sometime). Though I don’t completely agree with their goals, I deeply appreciate their sentiments.

So skip this book. Wait for the upcoming book Lost Kingdom by Julia Flynn Siler. It might not be as funny, but if it’s half as good as Julia’s book The House of Mondavi, then Lost Kingdom will be great. It will tell the story without the bias, sarcasm or cynicism, which is what this issue deserves.