So it’s over. The month of October flew by fast and my sabbatical break from work and ministry is finished. A few folks have asked how I feel about that, and I must say that it is good to be back at work. Loved the break, but I’m eager to reengage with the many fun things that I have going.
Would I do some things differently? Yes, of course. The email fast was just a bit too long to be pragmatic. No fast on web surfing was a mistake. Next time I want D’Aun more involved, and next time it’s likely to be shorter but more intense.
But overall, it was perfect. I would not have changed a thing. A bit of working in the orchard, a bit of solitude, a bit of travel, a lot of time to do nothing.
The sabbatical was intentionally spiritual. That was wonderful. I hope to continue many of the same practices that I followed over the last month, though modified to reflect the time constraints of “normal” life. Perhaps the lesson here is that I needed a spiritual retreat that was long and focused. Not a mere weekend getaway, but something more profound. It was so refreshing to have extended time to pray, read, practice solitude … even the trip to Italy with all the icons of Christendom around me was helpful.
The extra time to reflect gave me great confidence in where I spend my energies. My focus is split between Goble Properties, PathLight, helping D’Aun with D’Oliva, family, travel, and various board roles with other organizations. It’s all a bit unfocused. Sometimes I feel like this keeps me from doing my best in any one area. Having a chance to pray and reflect on the right balance has given me peace about the variety. Even if I’m not achieving my “best” in any one area, I’m living a unique life that reflects my calling. Or as I wrote to a few friends, sometimes “good” is healthier than “best”. But that’s a blog post for another day.
My parents, especially my father, raised me to live by the adage, “Lead, follow, or go your own way.” They never actually said this out loud, but they modeled it with their lives. They encouraged me to think, act, and live with a fierce independent streak. Feel free to lead, feel free to follow, but always feel free to chart your own course whether people follow or not. Never merely “get out of the way” as some say. Embrace community, but do not mindlessly submit your will wholly into that community.
Going your own way reflects a comfort with non-conformity that allows for risk, boldness, innovation, joy, and contentment to coexist. The willingness to unlink my self-image from popularity (often the yardstick leaders use to incorrectly measure their effectiveness) brings a certain peace into my life. Likewise, the courage to split from the pack when I perceive it to be going the wrong direction, even if such a split is socially and culturally risky, builds a self-worth that sustains me.
Of course, I’m not perfect. I’m not immune to the temptations of seeking the esteem of others. And the courage to split from the pack can easily devolve into merely being a troublemaker. I’m guilty of both. But the point of a sabbatical is to take the time and become aware of these flaws that are hidden within the strengths. And at least for me, to then turn them over to a gracious God.
And there we have the conclusion of the matter. The sabbatical time reminded me to walk in obedience and humility. One of the last daily readings I had came from Jeremiah 9:23-24, and I’ll conclude my sabbatical with these words from our Creator:
Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boast of his strength
or the rich man boast of his riches,
but let him who boasts
boast about this:
That he understands and knows Me,
that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these
I delight.