Many years ago, I joined a board of directors for a reasonably large organization. It was an honor to be invited, and I wanted to help the organization in the best possible way. As the board discussions covered finance, marketing, staff compensation, and any number of other issues, I did my best to offer my thoughts on all the subjects.
Perhaps I wanted to do a bit too much, though. After one particularly long conversation about a new campaign launch, one of the longest-serving board members, who was a good 20 years older than me, pulled me aside. He asked if he could speak freely.
Uh-oh, I thought, what did I say?
It turns out it wasn’t what I said. It was how much I said. My fellow board member, who later became a mentor, said gently, “Hold back a little in the conversations. Nobody cares if you are the smartest one in the room. Instead, be the one in the room who cares for everybody. Step back a bit, listen attentively, and use fewer words to express more.”
Feeling a bit like a schoolboy who had just been reprimanded by the headmaster, I stared at my shoes as I mumbled, “Yes, thank you, great advice.” I started to say more and then remembered his advice, so I stopped there. He smiled as he saw me catch myself. I smiled and looked back at my shoes.
It was great advice. Brilliant advice, actually. It was embarrassing at the time, but it kept me from even more embarrassing moments. Best of all, it changed my perspective about what it means to serve. Sometimes it is tackling the nuts and bolts of a challenge, but sometimes it is listening and caring for others. Discerning which is which takes wisdom.
The one line that sticks out the most? “Nobody cares if you are the smartest one in the room.” That sentence knocked my ego down to size.
It reminded me of a painting we keep in our conference room. It shows eight human figures sitting around a conference table. Each person is frantically waving a toilet plunger in the air, or using them as swords against each other, or slamming them against the table. It is simultaneously hilarious and sad as these eight people all attempt to be the loudest, smartest, and most noticed person in the room. With toilet plungers.
What a great metaphor for how we behave sometimes. I’ve had that artwork on the wall for nearly 30 years now, and it still reminds me of the advice my mentor gave me.
Any of us who work in groups can learn from his advice. Whether you are working with a team, leading your employees, or serve on a board, we would all do well to focus more on others than trying to be the smartest person in the room. Otherwise, we just look like we’re waving toilet plungers in the air.