The little voice in the back of my head kept whispering, “Tell this guy to shut up and listen!” It was yet another business meeting, late in the day, and the self-righteous leader condescendingly lectured me and my team about all the foolish things we were doing. He was partially right, largely wrong, but so convinced of his correct position he didn’t even take the time to hear my perspective. Thankfully I had the sense to keep my mouth shut. But boy was I tempted to unload on the guy.
One reason I didn’t go ballistic is because, honestly, what that leader was doing wasn’t all that different from what I’ve done before. And probably not all that different from what you’ve done before. We walk into a new situation, confident we have all the answers, and can’t believe all the mistakes others have made to create a mess. It’s tempting to quickly point fingers, scold people, and shake our heads with righteous indignation.
But what I’ve learned over the decades — through trial and error mostly — is the importance of shutting up and listening. Don’t offer advice until you really have all the information. Ask good questions. Hear multiple points of view. Praise folks for owning a problem. Seek solutions that honor relationships.
Easier said than done, right? So we keep working at it. Or at least I keep working at it. Even now when I see people do this I want to blast them. But as I’ve matured (insert joke here) it’s become easier to bite my tongue and recognize their own inexperience rather than indulge my self-righteous humility.
Anyway, a reminder to shut up and listen. We all know we should do it. Some of us just have a more difficult time doing it.