Please Stop Saying That

Christians have our own language. Some of it is beautiful. And some of it is stupid drivel.

Below are 25 common sayings that make me roll my eyes. These aren’t necessarily bad ideas. Some are biblical. Some are even things I’ve said myself. But we’ve repeated them so often they’ve become verbal shortcuts that allow us to sound spiritual without having to think very hard about what we’re actually saying.

Here you go:

1. “God is in control.”
Usually said when everything in sight suggests otherwise.

2. “Guard your heart.”
Because apparently Jesus’ central message was to avoid emotional risk.

3. “Love on them.”
Just love them; the preposition makes it sound like something requiring consent.

4. “Spiritual journey.”
Christians have been on this journey for decades and apparently nobody thought to bring a map.

5. “Everything happens for a reason.”
Probably, but sometimes the reason is that somebody did something stupid.

6. “God won’t give you more than you can handle.”
Tell that to anyone who’s ever actually had more than they could handle. On second thought, they have enough to deal with, so don’t.

7. “God laid it on my heart.”
The Christian equivalent of citing an unnamed source who outranks everyone in the room. 

8. “I’ll pray about it.”
Occasionally translated: I don’t want to do that, but saying no feels unspiritual.

9. “Doing life together.”
As opposed to doing what together, exactly?

10. “I’m in a season of…”
Apparently ordinary life now requires its own liturgical calendar.

11. “A hedge of protection.”
The Almighty’s preferred security system is … landscaping?

12. “God opened a door.”
You do realize that opening a door isn’t that big of a deal, right? Lots of people have learned how.

13. “I feel led…”
Remarkably, the Spirit’s leading often corresponds with what we already wanted to do.

14. “Pour into.”
People aren’t buckets. If they were, they’d leak.

15. “Unspoken prayer request.”
Please pray about something I refuse to tell you anything about but really really want to because I’m a prolific gossip.

16. “God showed up.”
Where was God before that?

17. “Let go and let God.”
Catchy, provided the situation requires absolutely nothing from you.

18. “Love the sinner, hate the sin.”
Funny how rarely anyone says this about greed.

19. “God has a plan.”
I’m reasonably confident you haven’t been given a copy.

20. “I’m blessed.”
Somehow used much more frequently after getting the new house than after getting laid off.

21. “God needed another angel.”
No, God didn’t, and that’s not how angels work.

22. “I’m just speaking the truth in love.”
Usually a warning that neither truth nor love is about to have a particularly good day.

23. “The Bible clearly says…”
Often followed by something Christians have been arguing about for two thousand years.

24. “I have a peace about it.”
Conveniently, God seems to provide peace about many things we already wanted to do.

25. “We just need to give it to God.”
Excellent advice, assuming someone can explain exactly how the handoff works. Venmo?

Before somebody sends me an email explaining that several of these phrases are biblical, theologically defensible, or perfectly appropriate in certain circumstances: I know.

That’s not the point.

The problem isn’t that these things are always wrong. It’s that they’ve become clichés. And clichés have a way of replacing thought. 

Oh, and if you’re going to pray for a hedge of protection around me, that’s fine.

Just make it drought resistant.