Asking people for money is asking them to practice a spiritual gift. So why does it make us so uncomfortable?
Those of us in the faith community often hear the request, “I would appreciate your prayer right now.”
It’s an easy ask, isn’t it? The person being asked will always agree. Sometimes they invest time and heart into the process. Other times they say a simple prayer in their head, and check it off their to-do list. Either way, the request is usually met.
But raising the stakes becomes problematic. “I would really appreciate you making dinner tonight for my sick family” is a bit more troublesome. Not a big deal, but it’s an escalation. This can go up the problematic ladder: becoming an intermediary in a dispute with friends, hospital visits, or even (horror or horrors) serving on a committee.
You know what I’ve found to be at the top or near the top of the list of difficult asks? Asking people for money.
It’s like the fear of public speaking. Everybody has it a little bit, and everybody sympathizes with the fear. So we tend to let it go when we hear people say, “It feels uncomfortable asking for money.”
Now if you are asking for money to buy the new Ferrari Roma, that makes sense (sorta … anyone out there want to give me money to buy a Ferrari Roma?).
But there are a lot of good causes worthy of our support. And there are a lot of good people who need a helping hand. People coming to us with open hands shouldn’t make us nervous. And going to people with open hands shouldn’t cause anxiety.
I want you to think about asking for money in a different way: you are asking people to exercise a spiritual gift. Now they might say no to the request, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask.
You are encouraging them to grow in their spiritual formation. They are using a muscle that can be strengthened.
It’s why I believe professional development officers (a fancy title for people who raise money) are actually spiritual guides. Or at least the good ones are. Their concern is less about raising money for their cause and more about helping a donor strengthen the spiritual gift of giving.
Let me say that again. A good development officer or pastor or nonprofit leader, really anyone who asks for money, should be less concerned about raising money for their cause and more about helping a donor strengthen their spiritual gift of giving.
We should be excited when people can’t help us and say, “I’m sorry, but I just supported ____ and that’s where our generosity is directed.” That’s good news! It means the person you are asking has practiced the spiritual gift of generosity. Instead of looking at your ask as a failure, look at the donor as someone to be celebrated.
Now of course there are charlatans. That’s why I qualify this as “good” folks who ask for money. And you, as a donor, have to practice discernment when making a gift. You can’t possibly help everyone, and you want your gift to truly make a difference. Finding that sweet spot takes discernment, wisdom, patience.
So the next time someone asks you for prayer, how would you respond if they had asked for money? How does that challenge you? Why are you, or not, at peace with the question?
And the next time you find yourself asking for money, search your heart. Are you motivated by raising enough for your cause, or do you really want to see people strengthen their spiritual gift of giving?
It’s all about our motivations. Asking for money is not all that different from asking for prayer. Folded hands in prayer, open hands in asking. Done right, both result in spiritual transformation.