Is there such a thing as too much generosity? In an age when books like Toxic Charity and When Helping Hurts ask questions about the impact of our charitable endeavors, a lot of folks have taken a step back on charitable gifts. Sadly, a few have stopped giving completely for fear of unintentionally damaging an unseen social, cultural, or economic system.
But is it true that we can give too much? As one friend told me, maybe I should write a book titled When Helping Actually Helps.
Despite my friends snarky comment, the short answer is yes too much generosity can be disruptive and harmful.
The longer answer is more nuanced. As I’ve posted before, you need a deeper understanding to give well. Especially in cross-cultural situations (which can be both across the globe and across town). We all need to invest time and thought into our generosity or it can easily blow up on us.
Frankly, a big part of giving well is listening well.
All of which is a prelude to a fun junkyard story.
A junkyard friend, let’s call him Dave, told a story about learning how too much could really blow things up. He was raised on a ranch where the closest neighbor was at least a quarter mile away. His father was, of all things, a demolition expert. There was always a pile dynamite around and my friend had seen his Dad use it to take down old sheds on the ranch.
Can you see where this story is going?
One morning my friends Dad had one of those important father to son moments. “Dave,” he said, “it’s time you do this on your own. Take eight sticks of dynamite and blow up that old chicken coop.”
Wow, thought Dave, this is my chance! The chicken coop was old and falling apart, so Dave knew it had to come down sometime. He just never expected to be the one to do it!
So Dave ran to the storage room where the dynamite and igniters were kept. He pulled out the eight sticks and the other things needed. Then he went to the chicken coop, figured out the best way to take down the shed, and began setting things up.
When he was ready Dave followed all the right protocol. He checked to make sure everything was clear, called out fire in the hole, put himself in a safe place … and then pressed the button.
That’s when all hell broke loose. The explosion was immense, sending scraps of wood and wire and chicken crap in every direction. Dave described the noise as deafening.
Once his senses (and hearing) returned, he couldn’t believe what had happened. The chicken coop looked like it had simply evaporated. All the windows in their home were shattered. And then the phone calls – all the windows in their neighbors homes were shattered.
What the hell happened? Thankfully nobody was hurt, but seriously what the hell happened?
Debriefing with his father (who as you might guess was none too pleased), Dave realized that what he heard was “eight sticks of dynamite.” What he father actually said was, “a stick of dynamite.” Go ahead, say them both out loud. See what happened?
Dave worked the entire next summer paying for broken windows throughout the community. He was a bit too generous with his dynamite.
So yeah, you can blow things up with too much generosity. To avoid it, listen carefully!
Photo by Harrison Haines from Pexels