If we want to give wisely we must learn about power dynamics.
One of the tenets of my understanding of generosity is we must go beyond merely writing checks. We need to build a relationship with the people we are trying to serve. This is why we must tear down walls that separate us by class, age, race, economics, politics, etc..
But when we start building those relationships we will find that our power — or perceived power — will alter the relationship. There are an infinite number of gears and levers in any relationship so it’s easy to not see how one action creates a surprising reaction. This might be especially true when it comes to economic power because we tend to put wealth at the top of the power rankings and are slow to challenge its authority.
Thus the well intentioned donor holds an unbalanced amount of power in the relationship. And often the donor doesn’t even realize the way this twists things. This creates a dynamic that can be unhealthy for everyone.
A critic of my first book pointed out that the idea of tearing down walls to build relationships (specifically with the poor) is a nice concept, but the power dynamics will unravel and create suffering. Power dynamics, they contend, are simply too difficult to manage between donor and recipient.
To which I say, “Bull…, um, nonsense.”
First things first. Power dynamics exist in every relationship, not just between donor and recipient. They exist between spouses, obviously, but also between parent/child, boss/employee, lender/borrower, and the list goes on. We deal with power dynamics all the time, usually subconsciously. Navigating them successfully in a donor/recipient relationship depends on us approaching the relationship with humility.
Micah 6:8 comes to mind: act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly. This was written in the context of our relationship with God, which is obviously the biggest power dynamic issue of them all. The idea that we shouldn’t build relationships with someone because of power dynamics is to deny virtually any type of socialization.
Second, that’s not to say we don’t need help. I write about “cultural translators” in my book, a term to describe someone who can guide us. But that’s just one example. Guides, counselors, advisors, brokers … all words that sometimes describe people who are leading us through power dynamics. Frankly, development directors should be good at navigating power dynamics too. A smart fundraiser can allow relationships to grow, which allows generosity to expand. It should be part of their job description.
Navigating power dynamics has not been natural for me. As Bob Goff wrote about me, I’ve been leading all my life. When you take leadership for granted you can easily warp your perspective of power dynamics because you assume everyone follows your direction. The result? You are not humble, don’t listen well, and lack empathy. I’ve been guilty before, and will probably be guilty again.
Anyway, if you want to give wisely you must learn about power dynamics. Let’s practice together so we will be better donors, better people, and better friends.
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